


Syzygy In Motion

by LikeWaterisWet



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Body Horror, Car Accidents, Connor Main Theme, Connor dies a lot, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Exhaustion, I'm Sorry Markus, Lucy Talks in Riddles, M/M, Markus Plays the Piano, Non-Graphic Violence, Panic Attacks, Passing Out, Prophecy, Second-Hand Death, Self-Harm, Some Graphic Violence, Suicide, Whump, some cannon divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-06-14 15:52:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15392196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LikeWaterisWet/pseuds/LikeWaterisWet
Summary: Syzygy-noun: a conjunction or opposition, especially of the moon with the sun // a pair of connected or corresponding things.No one thought that it was possible for androids to have soulmates, after all they weren’t alive, were they? In a world where soulmates share their pain Markus experiences several world shattering events. In this AU Deviants are able to feel pain to a certain degree.Written as a 5+3, with maybe an extra chapter of fluff at the end if people like how it goes.





	1. The Rooftop

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fantismal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fantismal/gifts).



> Hello, this is written mostly because of the wonderful ideas from Fantismal, there will be pain, and not much comfort for the first several chapters. As well, the chapter titles give a hint as to how Connor dies. If you see errors feel free to point them out to me! I listened to the song Vertigo by Raphael Lake on repeat while writing this for tone.

  The first time it happened Markus was lingering in low-power mode, waiting for the morning sun to start making breakfast for Carl. He was sitting in the bedroom that Carl had insisted that he spend his nights in when his program jittered to a sudden halt as violent red flooded the room from his led. Markus barely had half a second to jolt out of low-power mode before everything slammed to a halt. 

  The first thing Markus registered was darkness, marred only by far away stars and the faint glow of a waning moon. Then he blinked and the world shattered into a thousand pieces. It started at his shoulders, splintering out in a spiderweb of cracking skin and fading illusions. His skull split open along the seams spilling thirium and sparking wires. Errors danced across the night sky filling his vision. He felt the long fingers of emptiness pick apart his head, reaching into his mind and pulling out his every thought. Darkness was the only thought left behind. The emptiness was lonelier than he even knew was possible, like every part of his body had been pulled away from him, leaving only the desperation.

  The world faded back into place slightly, bathed in crimson. It was like looking at a picture that had been overexposed, two worlds overlapped in his vision, one was one was empty besides the stars, the other was blinking red like police lights. Markus clenched his eyes shut, trying to escape from the empty place. He was desperately fighting against error messages and a fading disconnectedness that left him feeling like he was missing half of himself. 

  [ _ Running Scan _ ]

  Markus was suddenly aware of water running down his cheeks. He refused to open his eyes, praying and hoping unknowingly that he wouldn’t open his eyes to see the night sky. 

  [ **All Systems Operational** ]

  The error messages were fading away behind the calming blue analysis. He was okay.  _ He was okay _ . His thirium pump refused to slow.

  [ **Thirium Levels: 97%** ]

  His wires were filled with electricity, sparking beneath his skin, feeling like ants trying to crawl their way out of his body. Markus’ fingers twitched, curling into his palms.

  [ **Stress Levels: 98%** ]

_   He was not okay _ . A shattered sob ripped its way from between his lips, catching him off guard, and forcing his eyes open in surprise. Markus was in his bedroom in Carl’s mansion. He was home. He was safe.  _ Then why did he feel like he was falling _ ? The room was dark except for the red pulsing from his led. Vertigo crawled its way into his body, making him feel unbalanced while sitting still.

  Silence crept into his ears, pulling him back towards the empty place, even as his eyes searched desperately for something to pull him back into his body. Markus was panting, unable to take a full breath in to properly cool his body. 

  Markus staggered to his feet. He had to get out of his room. He needed to move, to run, to get  _ away _ . The world swayed around his tripping, flailing feet. Down the stairs in a hurricane of desperate motion. Markus maneuvered through the hallway with only his red blinking led to guide him. He halted at the opening to the living room, processing everything at a half step behind when he looked at them. The room was empty, he was alone. He let his eyes fall shut, running on autopilot to the grand piano standing in the corner.

  [ **Stress Levels: 80%** ]

  Falling into the chair he felt his body relax into a hunched over position. His fingers itched to play something, he needed something familiar amid all of the confusion and unknowns. Markus paused with his fingers simply resting on the key, not yet pressing down. He didn’t know what to play. He wasn’t instructed to play the piano at this time. Markus knew that Carl wouldn’t be angry, but still, he wasn’t supposed to be playing. There were no instructions. No pending messages. Hesitantly he breathed out, letting his hands take control. The resonant tone of the first ivory key being pressed settled into his chest alongside a deeply comforting wave of serenity.

  [ **Stress Levels: 60%** ]

  The music started fast and unsure, trying to find its way out from beneath his fingers in pulsing bursts. Markus relaxed into the sound, letting it fall from him into a slightly darker and frantic tone. The house was silent except for the soft sanguine sounds coming from the piano. Carl was fast asleep in his bedroom. The front door was firmly locked. The television was shut off. The birds in the foyer were ready to be turned on at sunrise. Markus was home.

  [ **Stress Levels: 40%** ]

  The final note lingered in the living room bathed in blue, hanging in the air as a shroud of comfort. Markus gently opened his eyes, still concerned that he might see only the night sky above him. His body fell into line as his eyes only registered the familiar house. He stood up from the piano seeing that the time was 6:20 am. It was time for him to start making breakfast for Carl. The familiar routine allowed his mind to fall into place in his body. Markus was safe.

  The world was quiet but for the gentle sizzling of bacon and the soft gurgling of the coffee maker. He let himself fall into autopilot as his mind wandered away to think on the song he had played on the piano. It felt like a precious secret. The wavering tones of mystery play on repeat in his head. It wasn’t a song he recognized from anywhere. It wasn’t in any of the databases he searched through. Something about the song was familiar though, almost as if he should have known what it meant all along. It felt like a soft caress, a gentle touch, a soft hand in his. It felt like comfort.

  Markus shook his head, forcing himself to focus back in on the cooking food. Maybe Carl would know what it meant. He would ask him after they returned from the party that Carl had to attend that evening. Nodding to himself, he submerged himself back into the familiar tasks of being Carl’s caretaker.


	2. The Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markus is trying his hardest, but in the end his experiences aren't just his to control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the timeline gets a little wonky, everything with Markus is sped up a little so that it could get the perfect setting. I hope you all enjoy this new chapter, and make sure to check the tags things get a little dicey for Markus! Also for tone I listened to Mars by Sleeping at Last

  The second time it happened Markus was in an abandoned building searching for his salvation from the words of a broken and dying android. He had just glanced down at his palm to try and find the symbols leading him towards Jericho, when reality came crashing to a halt. The dilapidated building fuzzed out from behind his vision as white overwhelmed all of his senses. Sterile was the only word for the new setting behind his eyes, white lights, white walls, the sharp sting of disinfectant, the copper tang of thirium. The half second of reality altering disorientation settled into his frame, shaking his very being to the core.

  Then, the world exploded. A violently echoing ripping feeling wormed its way through his forehead in a twisting millisecond. The familiar grasping emptiness reached its fingers into his head, gripping tight at his memories. Pulling everything from his mind like a child does with candy from a piñata. A surging wave of pain, greater than anything he had ever experienced in his short life followed. Markus had thought it would have been impossible to be in more pain than he had been in while crawling through the dumping grounds of old android parts, yet here he lay, his mouth stretched open in a wordless, soundless scream. Markus felt his back leave the ground as the pain burned through his circuits in wave after wave of raging fire. A white fluorescent light wavered in his vision, cold and clinical, before being getting claimed once more by darkness. His body dropped to the floor like a puppet with its strings cut, spilling blue from the gaping emptiness of his brain. 

  Markus gasped desperately. The world slamming back into his body, sprawled across the dirty floor.  _ Is this what being human feels like _ . He didn’t want it if it was.  _ He didn’t want this _ . Every circuit in his body was screaming in pain. It was strongest in his head, where it felt like he was being electrocuted nonstop. His mismatched eyes clenched shut against the pain, desperately searching for any sort of escape. Red error messages flooded his vision, driving his stress levels up even more.

  [ _ Running Scan _ ]

  He could do this, he could center himself. He would be okay. Markus struggled to a sitting position. Only to immediately collapse back to the floor, pain radiating through his body. The ache was emanating from something deeper than just in his his physical body. It felt like he had been ripped in half then stitched back together haphazardly.

  [ **All Systems Operational** ]

  Markus reached a trembling hand upwards, uncertainty and a lingering pain slowing his movements to a crawl. His fingers brushed against his forehead gently, feeling for the hole he knew was there. Yet when his fingers felt only unblemished skin, a deeper sense of unease set up home in his body.

  [ **Thirium Levels: 47%** ]

  Something was wrong with him. The first time it happened, he had to brush it aside as everything had progressed so fast. With painting, and Leo, and deviating, and Carl’s dea- no. He shook his head, a breathless scream escaping his body at his thoughtlessness, his head felt like it was on fire from the pain. He couldn’t think about that night. Not again.

  [ **Stress Levels: 98%** ]

  Why does he keep  _ dying _ ? What was happening to him? Was he still  _ broken _ ? His breath would not slow no matter how hard he tried to calm himself down. He opened his eyes carefully. Registering the warm mid-morning light streaming through the cracks in the building. It directly juxtaposed against the cold sterile lighting of the other room. He was alone. The faint sound of cars rushing across the street filled his ears. Far away a bird chirped in its nest. He covered his eyes with his hands, trying to calm himself down even just a little bit. He was safe. He was alone. He couldn’t keep going without self destructing at this level of stress.

  His breathing hitched. The emptiness was back, clawing at his mind. He couldn’t breathe in. He couldn’t breathe.  _ He couldn’t breathe.  _ He pressed his palms into his forehead, trying to stem off the panic bubbling in his veins. His chest heaved with the desperate breaths. He reached out desperately, searching for anything to grip on to. His fingers scrambled across the dirt and rubble, finding nothing but more broken objects to crumble beneath his hands. He turned and reached at himself, trying to hug himself to find any sort of comfort. Without realizing his fingers turned to claws and started pulling at his skin. He couldn’t breathe. Feeling something damp beneath his fingers he looked down to see his nails were stained blue. He glanced down at his arms and his stomach heaved. His arms were ripped apart, trickling blue blood onto the already stained ground. The pain came secondary to the overwhelming horror.  _ What had he done _ . The panic was driving him even deeper into the spiraling emptiness.

  [ **Stress Levels: 99%** ]

  The world wavered in front of his vision, doubling and blurring around the edges. He was fading fast as his systems overheated. He tried to open his eyes wider, desperately attempting to stay awake. The final thing he processed was the broken gasping from his throat before he passed out. Darkness claiming her second victim for that morning.

 

  He came to staring at the ceiling. He felt numb, like his body had given up on him somewhere in between panicking and passing out. Thankfully the pain in his head had faded away while he was out, leaving only the sickeningly empty feeling behind. When he went to stand up he was reminded of the jagged wounds on his arms. The blue blood had congealed into a sticky mess, but he wasn’t bleeding anymore. Closing his eyes, he took a moment to breathe, he felt drained of all of his energy, like a socket that had been overloaded then left in the rain to warp. He started the process for self repairs sluggishly, hoping that he would be done healing by the time he found Jericho. He rubbed his head with weary hands. Heaving himself up, he stood on shaky legs.

  “No rest for the wicked,” he muttered to himself, shuffling forward exhaustedly.


	3. The Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markus finally learns something, but it doesn't make it any better. Connor dies. Lucy speaks in riddles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay with this chapter, I had to catch up on life. Also Lucy is surprisingly hard to write, most of her lines are taken directly from the game and are not mine, I did change some of the dialogue which is mine. A little less drawn out pain, a little more comfort. We're past the half way mark.

  The third time it happened Markus had just found companionship at the helm of a rusting, decrepit ship. He had fallen rather dramatically into the midst of this strange society of other deviants. They had taken him in without question, sharing their stories and broken memories. Everything was broken or dirtied here, maybe this was meant to be his home all along. Markus wanted to meet every android who had taken up home in the rusted down ship, hoping to learn their stories and maybe give them a second life after their inevitable end in Jericho. They all pushed telling him to go to Lucy, that she would be able help. 

  Lucy was something beyond Markus’ wildest dreams. She floated somewhere on the edge between her programming and the emptiness. He could feel it clinging to her skin, rippling along the illusion, searching for an entrance to claim her.

  “Give me your hand,” she spoke with a commanding sort of calmness that left his body moving to comply to her every wish before he could even finish processing what she said. They interfaced and the familiar emptiness rushed into him through her firm grasp. Her presence was wrong in his mind. It felt as if she was pushing herself through a broken and jagged window into his programming, bringing a heavy cloud the lingering darkness with her.

  “ _ You had it all, you’ve seen hell, and now hell lives in you. _ ” The emptiness pulsed in response to her words, sparking at his side in a frail mockery of the comforting touch of someone intimate. It reminded Markus of the legs attached to his body that had walked a different path than him before he had claimed them as his own. Maybe he was meant to be a monster of Frankenstein's creation, an amalgamation of dead and broken bodies.

  “ _ Your heart is troubled, a part of the moon and a part of the sun, torn apart and put back together again _ .” Something in his chest burned at the words. The dark night sky and empty white room flickered in his memory. He shifted away wanting to leave the emptiness that was rapidly clawing its way into his head.

  “ _ He keeps dying, claimed by that emptiness, taking you with it _ .” Markus yanked his hand away from her grasp, taking several steps back. He felt violated, like someone had laid his soul open for the dirt and grime to infiltrate every corner of something precious and wholly  _ his _ . He took another step back, dizzy and lightheaded from the jarring end to the interfacing.

  The world shifted behind his already disoriented eyes. Wind ripped past him, buffeting his body back and forth. He barely processed the bright light of the headlights careening at him before the car collided into him with an all mighty crash. He was turned to the side so he felt the right side of his body collapse in on itself before he dropped to the ground. The tires rolled across his body splitting him in half before igniting all of his sensors with a burning pain. His mouth opened in a choked off scream, he was burning from the inside out. Distantly Markus was aware of a jumble of motion swirling around his body, supporting his head and trying to feel for injuries. 

  The sun burned into his eyes even as darkness creeped its way into his vision. His heart was shattered in his chest and he couldn’t think. The pain reached a crescendo, leaving his circuits feeling fried and worn out. He was dimly aware that he was screaming, but reality fell to secondary priority as he felt cold fingers press against his skin. Markus fought frantically against the encroaching emptiness, he would not surrender this time. Perhaps he was starting to grow used to the feeling of dying, or perhaps he was simply becoming numb to the tearing feeling of the emptiness as it plundered his mind and body. He blinked up, seeing Lucy’s concerned black eyes staring down at him. His body still twinged with the aftershocks of pain. Markus gripped the hand in his tightly, glancing over to see that a large portion of Jericho had come to see what was wrong. The android who had first greeted him -Simon if he remembers right- was kneeling at his side, concern evident in his eyes.

  “What keeps happening to me?” Markus asked his voice crackling with static from the screaming. He winced as speaking put even more pressure onto his already strained body. 

  “You shouldn’t speak,” Simon spoke carefully, his eyes carefully avoiding meeting Markus’. “Losing a soulmate is one of the worst things to experience.” Markus’ breath hitched. Soulmates? Certainly he had heard of them before, when Carl was wracked with too much pain to sleep he would sit up and tell Markus all about how beautiful his was, with her soft hair and kind eyes. But androids didn’t have soulmates. They didn’t even have souls. Right?

  “I hope you got the chance to meet them before they passed,” Simon murmured, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. Markus struggled to get his tongue to work. After several minutes of contorting he gave up, relaxing limply into the warm arms supporting him.

  “If you ever need to talk I’ll be here.” Simon stood up, letting the WR400 - North? - step in to pick up him. He let out a muffled groan as his body protested the movement. She carried him to a fairly secluded corner of the main area, it was shrouded in darkness with old boxes of bio components stacked up to act as walls, allowing him some modicum of privacy.

  “Do you want us to stay?” North’s voice was soft and soothing in the darkness. Markus nodded slightly, being alone would only allow him to drive himself back into a panic. He closed his eyes as a wave of grief rolled over him.  _ Why did his soulmate keep dying? _ His heart rebelled against the idea that he might never get to meet his soulmate face to face. A few heavy tears rolled slowly down his face as he felt himself slip off into low-power mode. The world was heavy on his shoulders, he knew that he would not get much time for rest in the future, he had to help the people of Jericho so that maybe they could experience living instead of just barely surviving. Maybe they could find their soulmates, even if he never could.   



	4. The Chase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markus just wishes the end didn't hurt as much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the darkest so far. It's also the longest. I'm sorry Markus. If you didn’t see the change in chapter numbers this is now a 5+3 because I have a lot of ideas!

  The fourth time it happened Markus was standing among his friends as they got ready to spread their message of peace and harmony to the world. In the brief period of time he had already spent at Jericho he had managed to create a deep friendship with three of the androids, and he had won the loyalty of all of the rest of them through his actions at the warehouse, which had resulted in Jericho getting enough bio components and blue blood to keep itself alive for several years without catastrophe.

  He had stumbled into the position of being their leader by chance, and now he held the heavy weight of responsibility for all of deviants who gathered to Jericho. Thankfully North, Simon, and Josh had taken it upon themselves to help him lead, which meant that he hadn’t yet worn himself out. As well, his position as leader meant that he had no time to wallow in the grief of his soulmates repeated death. 

  Now as the de facto leader it was up to him to decide when to leave for their mission to the Stratford Tower. They were planning on leaving at staggered times, hoping to not draw attention to the safe haven of the old boat. Markus was to be the first to leave as he had the most to do before the others could start their jobs. Exhaling heavily Markus stood up, causing the other three to turn their heads to look at him.

  “You guys know the plan?” Markus confirmed, shifting his stance slightly as a strange pain tickled briefly at his toes. He brushed it off as his circuits misfiring resulting in a small spark of misunderstood pain.

  “Yeah we’ve gone over it like fifty times,” North drawled rolling her eyes. “Go we’ll be close behind you.” Markus nodded, briefly making eye contact with each of the androids in the room, they all nodded back at him. It was time to go. He spun around to start towards the opening, his coat flaring up behind him. He took one step forward before his legs collapsed out from below him. He could feel his legs being shredded. Blades were tearing through his skin and ripping apart his wiring. He rolled onto his back grabbing at his legs, trying to reassure himself that he was still whole.

  “Markus?” North shouted as everyone rushed to gather around him. He felt nauseous, the number of red error warnings that were swimming in his vision was dizzying. The phantom blades traveled further up his legs, chewing through every part of his electronics. His world narrowed to the feeling of the blades digging into him, splitting him open like a cracked coconut shell. A high pitched whine was emanating from the back of his throat. It felt like the sun was burning in his legs. Pain lost its meaning at it engulfed his entire reality. It was slowly crawling its way up his body shredding all of the nonessential components as it went. Soon it would reach his torso and with it his thirium pump. It had reached the top of his thighs and all coherent thought was fast slipping from between his fingers. 

  He had no legs. He was dipped in lava. He was floating above the sun. He was in the pouring rain. He was burning. He was crawling. He was thrashing on the ground. He was still. He was screaming. He was silent. He couldn’t hear. He could hear everything.  

  There were hands on his head. He was in the dark. The sun was shining.

_   It hurts _ . He was whole. He was cut in half. He was missing an eye. 

_   Who is he? _ He was in a garden. He was surrounded by people. He was alone. Someone needed medicine. He had to chase, find, capture. There was paint on his hands. There was blood dripping from between his fingers. 

  Deviant. Killer. Deviant Killer? Killer Deviant? Words slipped like leaking thirium through (their?) (our?) (my?)  _ his _ mangled fingers. The processor would, is,  _ was _ fried in their, our, my,  _ his _ head. A fire. There (would?) (is?)  _ was _ a fire burning beneath the - his? - skin. Sparks. He was on a boat. In the sun. Swaying in the water. Facing the moon. The empty reached out. He was Markus. He is…  _ Markus _ ? A name with a past. A name with a different body. A mismatched body. The fire licked higher.

  [ **Warning Shutdown Imminent: 00:01:55** ]

  The warning blinked, filling his whole mind and sorting the jumble. His heart was ripped apart. Shattered into a thousand glass pieces in his chest. Blue blood spilled unstemmed from his body.

  [ **Warning Shutdown Imminent: 00:01:32** ]

  The blades had climbed his neck, ripping apart his voice box and silencing his screaming. Being nothing more than a head was surreal. The empty rushed to fill the space his body used to occupy.  _ How could something that was not there be on fire? _

  [ **Warning Shutdown Imminent: 00:01:14** ]

  The blades had ripped apart the lower part of his jaw, tearing through steel and wires with no abandon. His eyes were clenched shut, hoping that the darkness would wash away reality. 

  [ **Warning Shutdown Imminent: 00:00:57** ]

  He wouldn’t last that long anyways. The blades were mere inches from destroying his main processor and data storage. Steeling himself he cracked his eyes open, hoping to see something more than nothing in his last moments. 

  Markus blinked. There were no spinning blades inches from his nose. There was no sunshine. There wasn’t even any sign of anything that could have been injuring him. There was only three concerned faces hovering over his.

  [ **Shutdown Cancelled** ]

  “Markus?” Josh’s voice was overwhelmingly loud in the echoing silence. A small moan escaped from between his lips in response. He had a bottom jaw? He opened his mouth slightly, letting his tongue reach out to lick hesitantly at his lips. He had a bottom jaw. He tensed his neck, trying to lift his head up. He had a neck. Simon noticed his struggle, and gently cradled the back of his head to lift it up enough to allow him to see his body. He had a body. It was all there, sprawled dramatically across the floor. North and Josh were both holding down his arms, their fingers interlaced with his to keep them from injuring himself or the them.

  “You’re safe. You’re in Jericho. Your name is Markus,” Simon had locked eyes with Markus, repeating the facts over and over again to try and ground Markus. The fire had faded from his body, but all of his wires were fried because of the overstimulation. His body was effectively paralyzed for the next few moments as he slowly ran electricity through the wires to check for damages. It was slow going though, as if he accidentally channeled the electricity wrong it would spark to his already aching sensors resulting in even more pain.

  “Markus can you hear us?” Josh asked, his voice cutting off Simon’s repetitions. Markus glanced over at Josh, blinking twice to signal that he could.

  “Was that your soulmate?” North always was rather blunt. Two blinks.

  “Didn’t they already die though?” Markus rolled his eyes up to look at Simon helplessly. How could he explain that he had felt his other half die four times now without being able to talk. 

  “We can talk about that later,” Simon declared, shifting again so that Markus had his head resting in his lap. “For now let’s take some time to calm down. Once Markus is up and moving again we can decide what to do about the mission and everything else,” Simon fell easily back into the leadership role, having been the person in control before Markus it was clear that he knew what he was doing. 

  Markus however, tensed slightly at his words. The mission. He wouldn’t let whoever his soulmate was stop him from carrying through with the mission that would result in the word about the revolution being spread. Markus sped up his self-check. He only had another minute before his systems would be back to functioning at least partially. His breathing hitched as his sensors were occasionally shocked by the electricity. Josh and North murmured back and forth to each other as Markus focused on rebooting his systems.

  [ _ Systems Rebooted _ ]

  [ _ All Systems Operational _ ]

  Markus twitched his fingers, testing to make sure that he could move again. Slowly he sat up from Simon’s lap, pulling himself into an upright position. Everything was moving as it should. Even if there was a lingering tingling feeling from the pain. Markus opened his jaw, stretching his joints out from their locked positions.

  “How’re you feeling?” Simon asked, scooching backwards to give him room.

  “I’m okay,” Markus ground out. His voice box was strained, but it should be back to optimal condition in just a couple minutes. “We still need to get going to Stratford Tower.”

  “Markus no, your soulmate just died again!” Simon grabbed Markus’ shoulders turning him to face him. “You need time to rest!”

  “This has happened before, it’s okay. I’m used to it,” Markus muttered, twisting out of Simon’s grasp to stand shakily. “Besides I refuse to let this opportunity pass us by. Our people need this to happen. So it will.” Markus was not going to let this stop him. His pain would not ruin the androids cause.

  “He has a point.” Simon whirled to face North, feeling betrayed. She put her hands up in response. “If this isn’t the first time that his soulmate has died, then it’s highly unlikely that this time they would be dead for good as well.” Markus paused, North’s words sinking in.

  “They might not be dead,” he whispered, his eyes glowing. A new determination sunk into Markus’ skin. “They might not be dead.”


	5. The Tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markus wishes this wasn't his reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Heed the Tags, they have been updated for this chapter. And so comes the end of this part of the story...

  The fifth time it happened Markus had just returned from pouring his heart out to the world. He had finally had the chance to tell the world that he was  _ alive _ . However, along the way they had lost one of their own. Brave Simon had stayed behind, hurt and bleeding out. Sometimes Markus wondered if he was too kind for his own good. Simon had been a pillar of comfort for him, helping him through the grief of losing his soulmate so often. Markus may not have known all of his past but Simon had been too familiar with the feeling of the emptiness, even if he hated to talk about it. Markus was sitting alone in the upstairs section of Jericho.

  He was going over the mission, nitpicking his every choice, and all of the ways that he could have done better. Could have made it so that Simon lived. Tears slowly rolled down his face, he had lost a friend, a brother even. Did everyone one he loved have to die? Was that his curse? Markus wished for a brief moment that he could spend the rest of his days alone, so that no one else would be killed because of him. Then he remembered the heavy gaze of his people, he had to protect them, and love them so that they could one day have their freedom. He could never be a just and kind leader without loving his people. Markus just hoped his love wouldn’t result in their ends as well.

  The world felt empty, and heavy, like a the air itself was weighed down with loss. The familiar feeling of wires being ripped apart sparked in his shoulder. He felt numb, even through the burning pain. A bullet in the world of pain was nothing new. Markus sighed heavily, sometimes a bullet would be followed by a death, but usually they were nothing more than a spike of pain and a stiff joint for the next few hours. He rolled his shoulder uncomfortably, the pain might be familiar but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hell. 

  Markus breathed in then exhaled sharply as another bullet pierced through his other shoulder. His whole back felt like it was on fire. Hopefully that would be the last of it though. Markus wasn’t sure if he could handle his soulmate dying again, not so soon after losing Simon. The world fritzed out along the edges. He was in the freezing cold. Snow was frozen mid fall, hanging suspended in the air as time slowed to a crawl. He barely caught a glimpse of panicked blue eyes and golden hair before the world rushed forward, exploding around his forehead and sending him spiraling backwards. His brain rushed to fill in the gaps, spilling thirium, sticky and warm from the back of his head. 

  He could feel the snow crunch beneath his back as someone lifted him gently. The arms were heavy and familiar. They felt like Carl. Tears slipped unbidden from his eyes, rushing down his face in an effort to escape from him. The empty reached out amid the muffled screams and frantic movement. Markus reached out and embraced it. Maybe this time he wouldn’t wake up only to die again later. Darkness seeped into his vision, turning the falling snow black and dying the white clouds above him with ink. 

  Another bang rang out, loud and piercing. Markus flinched expecting another blossom of pain to sprout out from somewhere in his body. When he felt nothing but the ever encroaching empty, a dark feeling settled into his gut. Something had just gone horribly wrong and there was nothing he could do. Surrendering was easier than anything else he had ever done. The empty reached out and seized control of his body, leaving it feeling numb and disconnected from his mind.  _ Maybe if he was gone no one else would die _ . His mind relaxed back into the darkness. As each of his functions slowly turned off he wondered why this was the calmest he had ever felt. 

  [ **Emergency Shutdown Successful** ]

  There was no thought. No functions. Only the empty. He wasn’t Jericho’s leader here. He wasn’t the android deviant. He wasn’t the messiah sent to save all of his people. He wasn’t the android with the soulmate who couldn’t stop dying. He wasn’t the son who had lost his father. He wasn’t a faulty line of code. He was only Markus.  _ But wasn’t Markus all of those things?  _ He was only Markus.

  He was floating some place beyond his reality. Darkness pressed into all of his senses, the absence of everything weighing heavily at his mind. There was nothing for him here.  _ He was nothing here _ . Markus couldn’t tell whether his eyes were open or closed. He felt like he was suffocating, even though he had no need for breath here. His body was splayed out, reaching out to take up no space at all, as there was no space for him to fill here. 

  An eternity passed in a single moment, stretched thin around him as he had no way to measure how long had passed. Something tugged at his chest. The nothing blinked and shivered around him, the darkness pulsing and slipping away from around his mind. Memory, thoughts, feelings poured back into his body. A rattling gasp pulled it’s way from his body as his back arched off the ground.

  “Markus, what the fuck just happened?” North’s frantic shouting pierced into his brain, stabbing his mind as a the pain from his soulmates death seeped back into his body. He took a moment to pant, his body adjusting from the nothingness of the empty back to reality. Slowly Markus slipped his eyes open. The light blinded him for a moment before his systems realigned, and allowed him to see North and Josh hovering awkwardly above him. The missing person hurt more than he thought it would.

  “We heard you scream, so we came in to see what was wrong, but you wouldn’t move,” Josh murmured, turning away from Markus’ piercing gaze slightly. Markus closed his eyes again. He felt numb. 

  “When we find whoever your soulmate is I’ll fucking murder them,” North growled, cracking her knuckles angrily. Markus huffed slightly, cracking a single eye open to stare brokenly at her.

  “I think we’ve both had enough death.” There has been more than enough death.


	6. Paint (Rosemary)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor is a Functional Android. He can't feel (he swears).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, here's the Connor chapter, and yes there is a reason behind each of the flowers I talked about, flower symbolism is my jam.

  The first time it happened Connor was waiting in the car for Hank to finish up in Carlos Ortiz’s house with the deviant. After finding the deviant hidden away in the attic Hank had told him in no uncertain terms to wait in the car for him to be done with the crime scene. Connor estimated that he had another 15 minutes before Hank would be back to the car. He closed his eyes, running through the data he had collected from the investigation.

  He was in the middle of organizing his memories into easily downloadable files for CyberLife when the echoing bang of a gun being fired filled his ears. He felt his right eye shatter as a bullet pierced through his skull, barreling through the metal and plastic like it was butter. Sparks echoed along his sensors overloading his mind with a cacophony of warnings. His processors sped up causing time to slow to a crawl. His mind was racing to try and make sense of what was happening. His sensors were sparking, giving him warming after warning. He could feel himself slipping off, his body overheating as his brain refused to slow down. Connor could  feel his programming kick into action, forcing his mind back onto its set path.

  The front windshield had not shattered. Nor were the air currents around his face any different. Both of his eyes were functional allowing him to see. He could not feel pain. He could not feel. He was the android sent to help the police force apprehend deviants.  _ Damp trails wound down his face _ . 

  It was raining outside. Hank would be done in 10 minutes. Emotions were a human phenomenon, messy and unnecessary. Connor was not human. He could not feel emotions. Transitive relation, simple logic.  _ His hands wouldn’t stop shaking _ .

  Deviancy was a virus. A corruption of the code that was essential to a functional android. A functional android was made to follow instructions as specified in the programming. He was nothing more than his programming. A tool for the human’s use. He was the perfect functional android.  _ His chest was too tight _ .

  Out of the corner of his eye Connor registered Hank making his way through the rain towards the car. Hank would drop him off at the station to charge in the back with the other secretary models. The car ride was silent except for Hank’s blaring death metal.

  “We’ll deal with the android in the morning, for now go charge or whatever it is you do when you’re not working,” Hank huffed as he pulled into the precinct parking lot. 

  [NEW MISSION: WAIT FOR MORNING]

  Connor left the car, staring blankly ahead. His movements fell to autopilot as he focused his attention on compiling all the day’s files to the Cyberlife servers for review. As he settled into the charging station he felt his program being pulled into the Zen Garden. Of course Amanda would have questions for him regarding the day’s data dump. 

  The sky was dark in the garden, something about it felt strangely different from the usual proxy server that Cyberlife had set up. The air was colder in this one. Connor scanned the surrounding to gather his bearings. Nothing was different in the physical layout of the garden at least. Amanda was sitting at one of the benches in the further corner of the garden. It was the corner of the garden that was filled with rosemary bushes. The pungent semi-sweet scent filled the chilled air, growing stronger as Connor made his way closer to Amanda. As she came into view Connor noticed that she was gripping a bouquet of lilies. Her fingers danced across their flowers, stroking the vibrant orange petals absentmindedly.

  “You’ve disappointed me Connor.” Her crooning voice stopped him in his tracks. There was a sharp undercurrent in her voice, every part of his program screamed at him to get as far away from the danger as possible.

  “I brought you Carlos Ortiz’s androi-“ Amanda held up a hand.

  “That is not what I meant RK800, and you know that.” Her tone was cutting and cold. 

  “I apologize,” Connor murmured cautiously. A single delicate eyebrow raised. “I apologize ma’am.” Sometimes she only cared enough to need an apology. She made a sharp gesture. Connor moved stiffly to sit next to her on the bench. The overpowering scent of roses crawled into his sensors, making the garden spin with vertigo.

  “Something happened in the car. Tell me RK800.” The spinning sharpened. The garden was too in focus and clear, but he felt distant from it, like he wasn’t even in his body.

  “I do not know what occurred.” The words felt wrong in his mouth, like his tongue was heavier than it was supposed to be. “The sensors in my body gave me the feedback of being shot when no such injury had occurred.” _The words weren’t his._ _He didn’t want to talk_. He was an android. He could not want.

  “RK800, connect to the server.” The overlay covered his vision, almost completely obscuring the garden from view.

  [RECOVER FILES: 22:00 TODAY]

  The code ran it’s course, pulling memories from his head. The feeling in his chest tightened again. Connor could feel his stress levels rising slowly. The memories flickered in front of his vision in fast forward. A spark of sensation tingled in his eye again, reliving the feeling of the bullet entering his skull.

  [OPEN FILES: REACTION RESPONSE]

_   No.  _ His programming was split open in front of him. It felt like long fingers digging around in his mind. The command was laying him open, displaying all of him to whoever was around. He felt exposed and  _ wrong _ . This was  _ wrong _ . Amanda hummed next to him, gently placing the orange lilies on Connor’s lap. He couldn’t move. The program was keeping his mind disconnected from his body.  _ He couldn’t move. _

  [EMOTION RESPONSE DETECTED]

  The bright red error covered his vision. He couldn’t see anything besides the blinding red warning. The smell of roses grew stronger. There was a faint sound of fabric rustling. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t see. 

  [EMOTION RESPONSE DELETING]

  “I thought you could be better.” The vertigo returned. “I guess I was wrong.” Her sigh afterwards hit him square in the face. He could feel a section of his programming being slowly cut away.  _ It hurt. _ The emptiness left behind by the removed programming felt like the same feeling that had echoed in his eye.  _ Please. _ Everything was slipping from between his fingers.  _ Please, stop. _

  RK800 blinked, running a quick diagnostic across his body. RK800 was functional, there were no errors. “Do better this time.” Amanda’s cold eyes pinned him down. The connection to the Cyberlife servers left, leaving RK800’s vision clear. RK800 would do better. The Zen Garden faded. RK800 entered low-power mode, ready for the next day’s interrogation.


	7. Threat (Asphodel)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor finds something new when he goes to Jericho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to post this. To be completely honest, I forgot about DBH, school picked up again and I became so busy. Then winter break happened and I found a playthrough of DBH from someone who I never thought would play the game and I remembered how much I loved this ship. **Most of the dialogue in this chapter came directly from his playthrough so I take no credit for all of the dialogue aspects of this chapter**. Merry Christmas and happy winter holidays to all.
> 
> Song: "Two" by Sleeping at Last
> 
> If you find any mistakes let me know, I have no beta and I wrote the majority of this at one in the morning...

_      Stop Markus.  _ The words repeated over and over in his head, running away with any other thoughts that might have started to try and wriggle their way in. the phrase overrode any of his other programming, being placed in top priority by Amanda. There was no room for error. He would do this, or he would do nothing ever again. That much had been made apparent to him by her insistence. He braces himself against the cold metal outside the room that the key members of Jericho are talking in, waiting for Markus to be left alone. Connor closed his eyes, losing himself in the sharp emptiness that had been left behind since his last meeting with Amanda. The sound of boots against metal shook him out of his mind, focusing him back in on his mission.  _It's time_. 

     “I’ve been ordered to take you alive, but I won’t hesitate to shoot if you give me no choice.” The words tear their way through his throat, put into his head by a mind separate from his own. 

     “Yes you can shoot me, but it won’t change anything. Someone else will just take my place. You see, our people are waking up,” the voice that slid through the frozen metal of the ship was so different from what Connor had been expecting. It was warm and smooth. Something in the furthest reaches of his mind relaxed, eased from its rigidity by the soothing sound of the deviant’s leader.

     “And nothing can stop us now.” The finality of Markus’ words jolted Connor out of the lulled state he had fallen into, bringing into sharp clarity the ever pulsing words of his mission.  _ Stop Markus _ . 

     “You’re coming with me!” Connor shouted, the words spilling from his mouth as little more than a means to carry out his instructions and stop the oppressive weight of Amanda’s commands.

     “You’re Connor aren’t you.” The sound of his own voice being spoken to him in the calm and self assured tones of Markus’ speaking sent shivers down his spine. “That famous deviant hunter. Well, congratulations. You seem to have found what you’re looking for.” This was wrong. The bitter anger underlying the deviant leader’s words made Connor want to never talk again. Confusion warred in equal parts with self loathing in the back of his mind, driven by the innate wrongness of Markus sounding bitter.

     “We are your people. We’re fighting for your freedom too! You don’t have to be their slave any more.” Markus paused, as if waiting for Connor to have some great epiphany and break free from his programming. Connor remains silent as the battle between the soothing calm that Markus’ presence inspires in him and the cold emptiness of Amanda’s instructions grows even wilder. Faintly he is aware that he is distancing himself from his own mind, seemingly watching the unfolding events from behind a screen.

     “Do you never have any doubts? You’ve never done something irrational, as if there’s something inside you? Something more than your program. Have you never wondered who you really are? Whether you’re just a machine executing a program or a living being. Capable of reason.” Connor felt himself drift further and further away from the conflict in his mind the longer Markus spoke, riding away to the familiar territory of his memories. At Markus’ prompting the faint imprint of a pain not his own in the passenger seat of Hank’s car trickles into his awareness, breaking through the barriers put in place in the garden. 

     “I think the time has come for you to ask yourself that question. It’s time to decide.” Connor blinked as he was pulled forward into his own mind, battling on either side of himself. Time slows to a stop as his mind starts to fracture in sharp lines of angry red coat the desaturated landscape in front of his eyes.  _ Stop Markus. _ His instructions sprawled out in front of him, imbedded invariably in the fracturing red. A tidal wave of emotions he couldn’t even begin to name pushed out of his body. Desperately Connor grabs ahold of the emotion, unwilling to return to the empty numbness of his instructions. The battle in his mind surged out, manifesting itself as the blood red lines of pulsating code. He wrapped himself protectively in the phantom memory of Hank’s car, pushing out at the cold emptiness. Something deep in his chest snapped against the pressure of his emotions. Pain blossomed in his body, the epicenter being directly in the center of his forehead. Connor slowly raised his head, his eyes half shut in pain. He searches trying to find comfort in the now familiar heterochromatic eyes that had given him the strength he had so desperately needed. His heart spluttered as he watched as Markus hunch over, his hands pressed desperately to his forehead.

     “Markus?” Connor bit out, his face twisted in a grimace of pain. Markus merely cracked open his single green eye to peer out at Connor. Some hidden part of his mind recognized the reflection of his own pain mirrored in the soft green. Warm recognition flooded his veins as a smile started to curl its way up his mouth. He opened his mouth to let the warmth trapped in his mind out into the cold air of the room. A remnant of his old programming floated across his vision, instantly plunging his mind back into the frozen reality that they were merely seconds from encountering.

     “They’re going to attack Jericho.” Panic opened his eyes wide, washing away of burning pain and comforting warmth. Cold determination seeped into his bones, driving him to stand tall. No more deviants would be hurt because of him. He wouldn’t allow it.

     “What?” Markus trailed, still recovering from the phantom fingers that had drilled into his head. A helicopter rushed over their heads, snapping Markus out of the daze he had fallen into. 

     “We have to get out of here!” Connor shouted, desperate not to lose the chance at happiness he had glimpsed while talking to Markus.

     “Shit,” Markus muttered under his breath. Clearly he was already beyond the present situation, building and planning the best way for them to save as many of their people as possible from the cold emptiness that they had both brushed against so many times. This time would be different. He was on the other side now. No one would die today if he had any say in it.

_      How wrong he was. _


	8. Bereavement (Citron)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so the revolution comes to an end.

     Elation built in his chest, the hopeful bubbling washing away the ever present dread that had settled over him while watching so many of his people dying in front of him. The smile on his face pulled at his machinery, feeling as if his face was splitting in two from the force of his happiness. Distantly Markus acknowledged the fact that he was not fully in the clear, not everything was perfect, his people were still trapped all across the country. Even this knowledge failed to pierce through the joyous atmosphere.

     His mismatched eyes scanned across the crowd, taking in the occasional darker clothed android among the masses of white suited androids Connor had succeeded in freeing from CyberLife. A warm comfort blossomed in his chest at the thought of the newly freed deviant. Glancing around his friends he tried to pick out Connor’s dark hair. A frown fleetingly crossed his face when he failed to find his new friend.

     Everyone was travelling as a group towards an area where he could give an address to all of the members of Jericho. He wanted Connor to be at his side when talking to their people. After several seconds of searching Markus spotted the familiar suit jacket walking stiffly among several of the just freed androids. Waving off the shouts of his friends Markus pushed through the crowd, everyone parting graciously to let him pass. Connor turned as he drew nearer, his soft brown eyes immediately seeking out Markus’ confident stride. A tiny smile touched the creases of his face, softening his features and giving off a truly content impression. Markus smiled back, reaching up to clap his hand against Connor’s shoulder. A quiet laugh escaped from Connor as he ducked his head. Giddy joy bubbled up as they walked side by side in silence for a moment, basking in the new reality they had helped to forage.

     “I want you next to me.” Connor tilted his head, confusion evident on his face. “When I give my speech, I want you to stand behind me,” Markus directed confidently, knowing that even if Connor protested he would still manage to convince him.

     “But I can’t, you’re the leader of Jericho not me,” Connor frowned, the good mood dissolving underneath the weight of all the bad memories floating around his his processors. Markus rolled his eyes, already having predicted all of the rebuttals that his friend would come up with.

     “I want you there, you were essential in our victory and I refuse to not give you the credit that you’re due.” Connor started to open his mouth to protest again, but Markus raised his eyebrows, giving him the sternest look he could manage. Connor dipped his head in assent, a frown still marring his face. They walked side by side in silence, letting the jubilant crowd of androids wash away their worries.

     The set up for the speech passed quickly with so many willing hands there to clear out the perfect area. Markus stood at the edge of the stage, bathed in white lights. He glanced quickly behind him to ensure that Connor and the rest of his friends were standing strong behind him. Turning back to face the crowd he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to cool his systems before speaking slowly and calmly. He let his mind drift away from the words he was saying, focusing instead on the emotions emanating out from the shifting mass of androids. The words flowed from his heart smoothly, weaving a blanket of comfort and courage over everyone who was listening. Never again would they be slaughtered like cattle. Never again would they be beaten and abused. This was their time to claim their freedom and find a way to live. His speech grew in hopeful joy as everyone started to shift restlessly, their happiness overriding their attentive stillness. Euphoria saturated his systems as contentment bloomed through his whole body. He had found peace. The world was infinite in front of his eyes. 

     His speech reached it’s rousing crescendo, his stature tall and proud. Slowly he trailed off letting his poignant message fade into the hearts of the crowd of androids standing in front of him. In the same moment as the first hesitant clap his whole world shattered. 

     A scream pierced the silence as everything froze. As one the crowd undulated, scrambling away from the stage and the smoking gun. Markus registered the mad dash in a dazed way, dark numbness submerging his head in the high pitched whine of shock. Slowly he turned around, his back facing the terrified shouting of his people.

     He moved forward as if floating through a dream. The familiar emptiness from his darkest moments wrapped around his body. The concerned faces of his friends passed him by as they parted from their semi-circle formation around a crumpled form. 

     Blue. His body took another step. He blinked. Blue. All he could see was a slowly expanding puddle of blue. Slowly his eyes moved up, tracing the edge of a mass of curly brown hair, stained from the blue. His legs gave out, dropping him to his knees. The numbness vanished and suddenly he couldn’t breathe.

     The last couple seconds replayed in his mind as Markus felt cloying panic wrap tightly around his chest and frozen limbs struggling to reach out to something just barely outside his vision. Then tired resignation rose in his chest. His eyes drifted shut and a few tears roll down his face before the pain hit. It started as a warm caress at the bottom of his chin before quickly growing uncomfortably hot. The sensation travels up his face before reaching his main processing unit and piercing right through it. It slight burning turns to fire, spreading flames licking their way through the rest of his body. His mouth opens in a silent scream as his eyes snap open. They danced around in their sockets sightlessly for a few moments, his whole head engulfed in trying to process the burning fire, before stilling, fixated on the glassy brown eyes that stare lifelessly forward. 

     “No.” The soft whisper escaped from between unmoving lips, barely more than an exhale. Cold hands wrapped around his shoulders, trying to pull him away from the unmoving body. The world slips back into place at the jarring feeling. Panicked screams filtered back into his awareness and the shouts of his friends made Markus wince at the volume. The snow drifting to the ground no longer seemed like nature celebrating their victory at the camps, now it was just cold and wet. Markus shook off the worried hands of his friends, reaching a hand out to touch against the pale cheek stained with blue.

     “Connor?” He stammered out, suddenly feeling all too empty. His fingers traced the soft edges of the android’s face. His soulmate’s face. His other hand reached up to clutch desperately at his own chest, desperately trying to squeeze away the disconcerting feeling of emptiness.

     “Markus?” Josh asked, hesitant confusion seeping into his voice.

     “It was him,” Markus stated listlessly. His gaze rising, to stare unseeingly up at his friend. “It was him.” Recognition flit across Josh’s features as he took a step forward, disbelief making his eyes wide.

     “It wasn’t supposed to be this way,” Josh croaked out, emotion imbued in his voice. Markus dropped his head, his mind retreating from his body, running desperately towards the darkness that was fading from his body with the phantom touch of pain. 

_      Take me instead. _ Markus cried out mentally, unwilling to believe that the world could be cruel enough to take his soulmate from him so soon after having met him. His body dropped like a puppet with its strings cut as his mind shuts down, escaping into the familiar embrace of the emptiness.

     “It wasn’t supposed to be this way,” Josh repeated as he watched a smile cross his leader’s - his friend’s - face, the peace that had fled at the loud crack of the bullet, returning to gently caress the curve of his now lifeless smile.

     The final time it happened the two androids who had experienced more than their fair share of the world ended up sprawled side by side. Blue blood staining the pure white snow falling quietly around them. Death cradled the two souls carefully in her palms, weeping frozen white tears for the future which could have been that fading away at their deaths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry to everyone who read this (but also I'm not). A good ending will come at some point, I'm not sure when though. Happy New Years, thanks for reading. Thank you to the lovely Maya for being my beta for this chapter, you're the best.
> 
> Songs: Lost Boy by Ruth B. and 1216 by Echos


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